Today some papers were dropped on my desk concerning application for being a 4th year ALT. All of it is very brief, just saying there's applications to fill out, 2 rounds of application including an interview, and due dates/timelines. Job details are vague (as per usual), working in elementary schools, 'internationalizing', and doing whatever the supervisor deems to be suitable/necessary for the ALT. There's only 3 positions in Aomori available, the closest being in Kuroishi. Why am I talking about this stuff? Am I actually considering signing up for a whole year of getting the flu from sneezing kids, having to be 'genki' for who knows how many classes in a day, and being in constant fear of receiving the infamous 'kancho'?

Being a 3rd year JET though, I admit I have been painfully thinking about what I'll do next year, and I suppose just sitting in the office all day with nothing to do, I mull over every option possible. Talking about the 4th year option, I've never met an ALT who hated going to elementary schools, and it would definitely be a change of pace from the settled-in high school teaching life. But the real question is, what do I want to do with my life? Is it time to grow up and stop avoiding life? Or a better question is, IS this my life? As you can see, it's confusing times for me. I bet every 3rd year JET is going through these motions too, unless grad school is their target - and even then, what's their career target? I would love to stay in Japan, but having a steady, non-temporary life is also very appealing to me. I have career ideas involving computers/IT, or graphic/web design, so if I could find something like that with a foreign-based company in Japan, that would be great. But my Japanese ability definitely needs a lot of work, and realistically don't have the job experience or confidence for programming or anything other than this website to show any design expertise. So maybe going to school is another idea. Ugh, but I won't bore you with this stuff any longer. Trust me I'm sick of thinking about this stuff too.

Anyways, I'll let you know how it goes. Be it to stay in Aomori, live elsewhere in Japan, or another country, or go back to Canada, I can be happy anywhere. The deadline for 4th year JET is the end of next week, so at the moment I think it'll pass me by. I'm not sick of JET or my last 5 months in this job, I'm sick of being in this temporary life. 4th year would only postpone it to a 5th, and then be back to square one. I want to start thinking long-term. But in the meantime, if you ask me what I'm doing next year, my answer will still be 'I don't know yet'.